Affirmations. Love them? Hate them? Have no idea what I’m even talking about?
If you have found affirmations to not work in the past or you have been resistant to them, keep reading! I encourage you to explore this a little further and be open to the concept. (You can always shoot me an email as well if you want to chat and come up with some personally)
Let’s start with the basics. What is an affirmation and why do we use them?
Affirmations are positive phrases we use, ideally on a consistent basis and throughout our day, to reprogram our subconscious minds. (Aka teaches us to focus on the positive and boost our confidence) Often when we view our lives in a negative way, are feeling rundown, and like nothing is going our way, it’s not about changing the external environment but instead it’s about looking inside. When we turn inside and start exploring our thoughts, our negative and self-limiting beliefs our self-awareness can grow exponentially. We start realizing that our external environment often reflects our internal one. Affirmations are about creating a positive, loving internal environment so that we can experience the same externally.
Many people are put off by affirmations either because they have tried them before and had no luck or because it’s hard to give in to a saying that they don’t really believe.
The thing is, it doesn’t have to be that way. It doesn’t have to be about wishful thinking or creating something we can’t believe in.
Affirmations are here to build strong foundations. To create a positive environment in which we can enjoy. It is about developing a strong sense of self and learning more about who we are. Affirmations help us to focus on the positive and express gratitude with ease. They help to build confidence and keep us motivated. Affirmations can be anything to support you finding love, to bringing in a bigger pay-check, to getting more active. How you use them and what you use them for is up to you.
If you have tried affirmations in the past without luck, I would suggestion you then that without over thinking it (I know easier said then done) take a look at the following:
- Spend some time looking at the area(s) of your life you would like to improve (connections, finances, adventure, confidence, happiness, etc)
- Take a day or two and listen to the voices in your head. What are they saying? What are the phrases you are currently repeating over and over to yourself?
- What do you currently believe to be true about yourself?
- How do you want to feel about yourself?
Using what you have come up with above, you will now have a better understanding and clarity on what types of affirmations will be most beneficial to you. If there is a lot of areas, just pick one or two to start. (No need to over think it, just pick one)
Often I get my clients to find clarity in these things before we begin with the affirmations. It can be a very eye-opening experience to realize what you actually tell yourself and what you believe about yourself on a daily basis. We then work together on creating affirmations around those negative phrases to shift the stories. I would recommend the same for you.
How to create positive affirmations
No matter how you go about doing this, one of the most important parts of creating positive affirmations is finding the ones that evoke emotion. If you read them and feel nothing…then your either not really into this and I recommend letting go and coming back when you are ready. OR keep reading, find some that you read and make you take a deep breath after, put a smile on your face or tear up a little. The more emotion you feel when reciting, the more likely they are to work, and the faster they are to work.
Maybe you have been struggling with time management, getting pregnant, having patience, making friends, or feeling more confidence in yourself. Simply pull up Mr. Google and ask him for “Positive affirmations for ____” whatever it is you feel most interested in. There will be lots of great affirmations that come up for you through this, all you have to do is pick a couple that resonate with you.
- Affirmation Cards
If you are brand new and unsure of it all, I would recommend going and buying a deck of affirmation cards. This is the easiest way to jump in and bring a little positivity and confidence into your everyday. All you have to do is pull one (or as many as you’d like) from the deck each day and recite them. Simple.
I LOVE these cards from Canadian mama’s at the Love Powered Co.* They make them for kids, teens and women. We have the kids ones and my 2.5 year old daughter and I do them regularly together. Yup! Affirmations are for anyone, any age. If you want more information on using affirmations with kids send me an email or check out the kids card set here as it comes with more information that will guide you through with ease! (Ps they make great gifts!)
- Create your own.
This is not that hard when you have went through and done the above work. When you know what the negative voices are trying to tell you and you know what your limiting beliefs are, it’s pretty easy to create your own affirmations specific to those. Pick something that feels good to you and practical.
You may choose to make a phrase for the point of view that your goal is already achieved
“I am so grateful for the extra $3000 in my bank account this month!”
OR you can do it from the point of you that you are open to change.
“I’m so excited to see what opportunities come my way”
Sometimes it’s easier to take the approach of creating something around how you want to feel.
“I feel loved and understood.”
Use these prompts if you need help getting started:
- I am excited______
- This is good because _____
- I feel ______(positive emotion)
- I am grateful for _______
- It’s getting easier to ______
- I choose _______
- I release _______
- I trust ________
- I accept _____
- I forgive ______
One of my all time favourite affirmations I learned from my own coach and that is “Things are always working out for me” I use this one constantly throughout the day. If I’m worried about something I can just remind myself of this and it makes a drastic difference in how I feel about the situation. It also has made me focus so much more on gratitude as things really are always working out for me, and when that is the phrase in my head I notice all of the things around me that are working out for me.
How To Use Affirmations
Post them around your office, bedroom, bathroom or anywhere else you might find helpful (I have mine as the background of my phone) Surround yourself in them.
Make it a morning practice, evening practice or something you do throughout the day…or whatever feels best to you. Just do it. And make it consistent.
I like to start my day off with some positive affirmations. I find this a really light way to begin the day, putting myself in a positive head space, boosting my confidence and taking on the day. I generally journal and therefore will write my affirmations out there. Sometimes though I like to just lay in bed quietly (before I get up) and recite them quietly to myself. You could also stand up and say them out loud to yourself in front of a mirror. Do what feels best to you.
After this I use them throughout my day on an ‘as needed’ basis. So if I’m about to step outside my comfort zone, if I feel my confidence wavering on something, if I notice that I’m starting to get sucked in by the negative voices, I take a moment for a deep breath, then I remind myself of my affirmations. This lets me regroup, push away the stuff I don’t want and stand tall again in order to move forward more confidently. And it works..every…single…time.
It’s important to not just rush through saying these to get them done. Cut out a couple of minutes to really FEEL into these affirmations. How does saying them make you feel? If they aren’t evoking any feelings in you while saying them, then they aren’t the right fit for you.
Give into them. Let go and visualize what you are saying, put yourself as much into that moment as you can. This will make them more effective.
Still unsure about it all? Have questions or struggling to get started? I want to hear from you! Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s chat!
*Please note that this is an affiliate link and if you decide to purchase from it I will receive a small commission to help support my business. I would never recommend something that I didn’t believe in. (We also use these in my own home so I give a true recommendation!)
Katie Kahvo is a Life Coach and Holistic Nutritionist working with women to reconnect them to themselves. Through her work clients find a boost in confidence, clarity on the direction for their life and a sense of peace in knowing who they are. Come join the group to stay connected and learn more!