When we are little fear revolves around things like monsters, separation from our parents, things on tv, etc As we age fear becomes so much bigger and a piece of so much of what we do. It rears its ugly head on a regular basis and it can stop you in your tracks. Keep you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, stressed out, lock yourself in the bathroom and cry type moments. Fear can keep you wearing the masks to terrified to remove it.
For most of 2018 (and previous years if I’m being honest) fear left me feeling insanely frustrated, tearful and angry. It would stop me in my tracks and consume me to the point where I could not take that step forward. I could see what I was trying to get to but I constantly felt stuck…and FURIOUS.
Then things changed.
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford
- I started working with a coach and listening to more information on fear. This opened me up to an entirely different perspective. I didn’t always see so clearly that it wasn’t my lack of motivation, organization, connections, knowledge, etc that kept me feeling so stuck but really it was just my fear popping up because I was trying so hard (desperately you might say ) to make changes in my life. This was a game changer.
- Instead of cringing and trying not to run away each time it showed up, I now started to get curious about fear. What has just happened or is currently
happening to trigger my fear to pop up? When you get curious about
challenging things and start looking at what you can learn from it (instead
of crying out and wondering why on earth this is happening to you AGAIN)
things shift. And they shift fast.
- I changed my relationship with fear. I stopped trying to remove it from my life and
simply started to recognize it and put it in its place.
- When you can stop letting it consume you and start looking at it as something
outside of yourself it gets WAY easier.
- When you start to realize that fear comes up when change is about to happen,
you start to get curious. When I realized that this was why it was creeping up, I actually started to get excited! Change was happening. I was on the verge of
something potentially amazing! New things were coming my way.
I’ve learned this past year that fear isn’t something you ‘overcome’ or ‘eliminate’ It’s always going to be there. What is more effective is developing the self awareness to realize when fear is creeping up that you are pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. That you are at the edge of staying where you are or leaping into something new and experiencing growth.
When I learned to push through my fear, amazing things happen.
It’s true what they say…”Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”
My business took off, my relationships strengthened, my friendships grew.
So now when fears pops up. I take a deep breath, get curious and let the excitement take over. I make a conscious effort to remind fear that it’s not welcome to drive but can take a seat in the back. Then I soak up all the amazingness that comes with it!
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela
Katie Kahvo, is a Life Coach and Holistic Nutritionist who supports women through growth and development to build confidence without the mom guilt. She is a leader in her community, True You, showing women the positive impact community, perspective, and mindset shifts really have on your life (and those around you)